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Dear Preston:

I am a planner located in the Midwest. Last year, I did a wedding for a very influential client. It was a complex job that I feel was executed perfectly. At the time, I received a telephone call from the bride who thanked me for my hard work. After a year of no contact, I received a call from the mother of the bride who mentioned that her other daughter was getting married. She was interested in getting the number of the florist as she wanted to use them again. I was a little upset that she was interested in using my florist and not me. This has resulted in many nights where I have stayed up and wondered what I had done wrong. What do you advise me to do?

Rejected Planner

Dear R P,

While I can empathize with your taking this situation personally, it’s not as simple as it sounds. Yes, I have been asked to come back and do the weddings of  family members close to my clients, but I have also been exactly where you are. What I chose to do in these circumstances was to pick up the phone myself and have a gentle conversation with my clients. I told them how much I valued and appreciated them and asked if there was anything I could have done differently. I also asked them why they chose to use another person.

Here are a few answers I have received over the years:

– The other family member has a planner they would like to use.

– I did a great job but the new bride wants someone/something different.

– They felt I was a big disappointment. This is the most dreaded response.

While the last one is never easy to hear, I try to see it as an opportunity to learn why they were disappointed.

I encourage you to reach out to them. I would love to hear their response!

Hang in there,

Preston

Question: Should this planner leave well enough alone or call the client?

Do you think it is a sign of disloyalty or disrespect for the clients to use another vendor and ask for the florist?